Ghouls 'N Ghosts Review - Not Dead Yet
Not Dead Yet is a series of reviews of retro games deemed important enough to play before you die. Obviously we can’t play all of them but we can at least check them out to see how well they’ve held up
What they say about it
A gothic pantomime of cruelty, it’s built to separate the men from the boys – and then mock them both anyway. It demands perseverance and excellence; otherwise, it’ll kill you over and over again, leading you to question your own gaming abilities. But think how sweet that victory will be should you reach the very end.
What we say about it
It wasn’t until playing Ghouls ‘n Ghosts that I realized just how truly punishing the late 80s 2D beat-em-up truly was. I’m used to things like life bars, armor, super armor, and other things that allow me to play like the reckless doofus that I am. That luxury vanishes in Ghouls ‘n Ghosts. Two shots are all it takes and you are banished back to your last checkpoint. Hopefully it wasn’t too far back from where you were struck down.
Maybe you’ll correctly anticipate where the next fire bat will come from off screen and successfully kill it. What you fail to anticipate is its partner behind it, which you know is coming but this time from a slightly different trajectory. It touches you. You have armor so you’re not dead but it does knock you back into a pit. You fall in that pit. You died.
The only thing better than dying is dying immediately after you beat the boss.
In some ways, it reminds me of Dark Souls. Dying over and over again, inching forward towards what you hope is the next checkpoint. You’ve learned a bit more and can now navigate ever so carefully, only to be smacked in the face with entirely new enemies with completely different attack patterns to learn. It’s not just enemies now though; there’s a whole moving platforming section to plow through while still not getting touched by everything that wants you dead. It’s a brutal cycle but you find yourself sticking with it.
Why do you stick with it? It’s multiple reasons. It’s checkpointing that doesn’t make you want to pull your hair out. It may sometimes push that line of what’s acceptable in terms of checkpoint distance but it’s never truly obnoxious about it. Because of this, when I do die, I don’t feel like I’ve wasted a bunch of time and that’s something that modern games still struggle with.
The weapon variety is enough so that I have my favorites yet I don’t necessarily feel gimped when I’m stuck with something I don’t like. The soundtrack, while good, won’t go down in my playlist of gaming bangers. The exception being the music from Stage 3 (and even that may be due to a bit of Stockholm Syndrome with how much I died on that stage).
I never thought I’d be accosted by demonic turtles but here we are
Should you play this before you die?
Absolutely. Ghouls ‘n Ghosts is a hallowed name in the genre for a reason. It’s challenging in a way that can be described as harsh but fair. Once you’ve beaten it (especially after you hit the big twist about “halfway” through the game), you can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Even if you’re a save-scumming jerk like me.